You know, every time I read about these big hot-shot comedy writers, they always...– My kid sister came by so we could get cracking on that TV pilot. You can imagine how it’s going.
The Year in Review, 2012
January: First, most likely only, tattoo February: First, most likely only, Brazilian wax March: Met Martha Stewart on my 24th birthday, spent majority of month agonizing over whether or not 24 constitutes “mid-twenties” April: Baseball season May: Laid off from my longest full-time “grown-up” job, begin illustrious freelancing career June: Began production on...
dictionaryofobscuresorrows: n. a state of moral exhaustion inspired by acts of horror in the news, which force you to revise your image of what can happen in this world—rebuilding the fences around what’s normal, weeding out all unwelcome and invasive truths, cultivating the perennial good that’s buried under the surface—propping yourself up like an old scarecrow, who’s bursting at the seams but...
Entire Internet About To Give You Crash Course In... →
tylercoates: As with the passing of any great artist or musician, the Internet (and Twitter in particular), is already raring to go with its crash course in the fundamentals of Dave Brubeck. Expect to hear fond memories of tweed-jacketed college professors leading Jazz Appreciation seminars, to see listicles of the “Top 15 Essential Dave Brubeck Recordings” (bet you can already guess No. 1,...
This Talking Is Only Bravado: "All These... →
I wasn’t allowed to play in some universities in the United States and out of twenty-five concerts, twenty-three were cancelled unless I would substitute my black bass player for my old white bass player, which I wouldn’t do. They wouldn’t let us go on with Gene [Wright] and I wouldn’t go on…
The truth is that many future poets, novelists, and screenwriters are not likely...– Helen Vendler, of the Harvard Admissions Committee, addresses the Ivy’s arty slacker gap.
Speed Date My Friends! →
My friend Amy Van Doran, Brooklyn’s busiest matchmaker, puts together a free monthly event for her eligible friends who are too cheap modest to employ her personally. Last month, I put up streamers, rang the “time’s up!” bell, and ran a kissing booth. This month, I’ve been promoted from the kissing booth to the DJ booth. So come out tonight, meet someone special,...
Vignettes from the 90th Precinct
I’d never been to a New York police precinct before tonight, because I’m not that kind of girl fortune has smiled upon me lo’ these many years. Until now, of course, when I swung by after work to file a lost property report on a fraudulent check. I was assisted by a very polite, very sweaty officer who had the good sense to finish my paperwork post haste. I was in and out within...
rendit: “Is that jazz I hear?” “It’s Donald Fagen!”
Here is a start: Look around your living space. Do you surround yourself with...– Oh my God, my life! It’s…it’s…“IT’S ALL BEEN A PACK OF LIES”! Lady, I am the scourge you are talking about here. I am the city-dwelling, bike-riding, thrift-shopping sort with a 50 year old haircut and a [cherished, unironic] record collection. My friends...
Lamborghini, Mercy Bourgeois he coerced me I built that two-seat Lambo when...– Kanye Marx (via anarcho-baker)
I just learned an important lesson about casinos: if you’re not going to bed with the man playing next to you, you’re considered a sworn enemy.
World's Second-Oldest Profession
Babysitting on Election Night was interesting. Despite being a childless young city-dweller, my political views were virtually identical to the new parents.’ The only difference was the reasoning - I want this country to get better “now-ish,” whereas they want it to be better in time for the rest of their child’s life. Today, whatever residual joy we felt over last night’s results was dampened...
synecdoche: free idea: a 5,000+ word article explaining which instagram filter to use in the voting booth tomorrow